Introvert

I am. Highly one too. Like a lot of alone time. Need it. Social situations are not my forte. Odd. Even anxious. Not one to go along with the group. Most groups are headed by an extrovert. I have nothing against extroverts. But they come across as loud. Attention seeking. Introverts want nothing of that. I’m not shy. Never have been. I’m quiet. Really quiet. Have been known to make other people feel uncomfortable just by being quiet. 

How do I deal with it being a performer/entertainer? Simple. Be myself. I can talk to people. I can fit right in the middle of a party if needed. I wouldn’t choose to do it on my own. But my job requires it. So I throw myself out there. Vulnerable. I can handle it. I’m not being fake or insincere. People would know it if I was. I just simply turn it on and do it. It’s not that hard. What’s hard is that my natural self never wants to do it. So it’s an internal fight. My job requires me to create the vibe of the party. So I have to be ‘up’. It’s what I do for a living. Funny isn’t it? When I was a kid my grandpa would play the piano and everyone would be dancing and singing along. Not me. I would go to the other room. Away from all of that. Now here I am doing that same thing to pay my bills. Well that’s just it. When you have to make a living you’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done. But I’m happiest when the job is done. I can go back to my private world of aloneness. That’s where I thrive best. Introvert.